What We Resist Persists: A Personal Awakening
What We Resist Persists: I remember the first time I heard this quote. It was a huge wake up for me. It was early on my journey of personal growth, at workshop in Europe decades ago, and I still feel the punch it had for me. I was deep into resisting the way I had taken on patterns of my mom’s (criticizing and judging, myself and others). I saw and knew no other way to be, at that point. Carl Jung actually says, “What you resist, not only persits, it will grow in size.” I was resisting big time, and I see now how that not only persisted, for years, even decades, but did indeed grow. Oh my, I feel weighed down even recalling all of this.
How Early Conditioning Shapes Resistance
A little background may help. Resistance had been an ongoing feature of my life from my earliest years. It fit in perfectly with the other patterns and habits in my family: black and white thinking, judging, making comparisons to see if I was good enough… My mom believed we needed to effort, compare, try to be better… that was the way to a happy and successful life!
Why Letting Go Feels So Hard
I bought into this world view for some time. So it was hard to learn and accept that these patterns really hamper our personal growth, they lock us in to the old, and hinder our developing a growth mindset. Letting go felt so scary, like giving up, giving in, like being afloat without a life raft.
The Physical Weight of Resistance
And in fact the very opposite is true. I remember (if I’m honest, I still know), how resistance feels in my body. Tight in the chest, like I’m fighting something; it’s a combination of defensiveness and aggressiveness, and it’s seriously uncomfortable. When I can release resistance, it’s like there’s a flow again, Movement, more ease. My body relaxed, inside and out. 
Acceptance Creates Space for Growth
When I can come to accept myself, it’s often the case that it begins to ripple out. And when I release resisting and andjudging others, what’s happening in the world, then my capacity to notice and accept grows. When I accept myself, others, and what is, I move into a growth mindset. I can be part of positive change, for myself and the world.
Releasing Resistance Transforms Everything
What we resist persists. Releasing resistance, practicing acceptance, is truly transformational — at the deepest level. It may seem scary at first, but it’s actually freeing, like we are floating gracefully down the stream of life. I’d love to hear your experience with resistance and release. We’re in this together!
Here’s a post you might find helpful:
Alignment, Acceptance, and Empowered Change: Eckhart Tolle wrote a book called A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. Here is an excerpt that jumped out at me: “To be in alignment with what is means to be in a relationship of inner nonresistance with what happens. It means not to label it mentally as good or bad, but to let it be.”
Acceptance Changes Everything: I can, even today, feel the internal shift from that old, familiar habit of resisting and wishing it were different, to simply accepting reality as it is. It is quite splendid to notice how my heart opens, my shoulders relax, my face softens, my breathing slows. What we resist persists, and acceptance changes everything!
Jill Schroder is the author of BECOMING: Journeying Toward Authenticity. BECOMING is an invitation for self-reflection, and to mine our memorable moments for insights, meaning, and growth. Check the website for a sample chapter, or see the reviews to get a flavor for the volume. Your feedback, forwards, shares, likes are most welcome.
