Acceptance changes everything.

Acceptance changes everything! Try it, you’ll like it 🙂   Travelling with my family in Portugal this summer was a rich and splendid experience… with, of course as it is to be expected,  a few AFGOs*.  One early in the trip had to do with the cramped space in our Lisbon lodging. I could notice my familiar tendency to wish it were different… Couldn’t there be more space, air, light? There was also the option to look for silver linings, and there were many that could have been called upon — the wonderful old town setting, the delicious wine and Portuguese specialties our host had left for us in the room…

Lisbon old town

But bear with me while I take it a layer deeper.  What if I choose not to look for a silver lining, but simply to drop into acceptance of what is? I can, even today, feel the internal shift from that old, familiar habit of resisting and wishing it were different, to simply accepting reality as it is.  It is quite splendid to notice how my heart opens, my shoulders relax, my face softens, my breathing slows.  The changes are palpable inside and out.  OK, this is it, this is reality, this is here, now.  

Then there was the fact that the teenager in the family traveling with us came down with Covid, and we had to cut our trip short and return home four days early. Another AGFO. Resisting, whining, wishing, blaming…all only add suffering to the challenges. Acceptance changes, in this case nothing, and at the same time, everything.

And certainly, when faced with these difficulties, it’s right on to say, Alright, here we are. What now?   What options, resources are available? Accepting does not mean condoning, or being a doormat.  It does mean that we drop the pain and struggle, yes, the suffering…that comes from resisting what the universe is offering up.  Acceptance changes everything.  I am finding a growing ease as I get better at this. Truly miraculous. (Full disclosure: there were a few times where I triggered and got sucked into reactivity, definitely not accepting what was happening at the time. But hey, nobody’s perfect, eh? :-))

I was talking to a granddaughter recently who experienced crazy long delays at an airport, after being hassled about forms she was supposed to have presented.  She was able to accept the situation… and wound up standing in line with a professional cricket player.  They had a fine time and and she was delighted when he offered her a coupon for food vouchers that turned out to be really helpful and tasty!  Well, I guess this could also be called a silver lining story, but acceptance really changes everything! Try it see iand see what changes you notice, inside and out :-). I’d love to hear about your experience.

*AFGO Another F—ing Growth Opportunity 🙂

Acceptance changes everything.

Jill Schroder is the author of BECOMING: Journeying Toward Authenticity.  BECOMING is an invitation for self-reflection, and to mine our memorable moments for insights, meaning, and growth.  Check the website for a sample chapter, or see the reviews to get a flavor for the volume.  Follow me on Twitter, let’s be friends on Facebook 🙂

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