Feel the Support

Feel the support?  What, when, where, how?  

I have just been elected to our building’s Board of Directors…it’s been a bit of a communication jungle on the Board for the last while, and to tackle/survive/thrive in the job I want and need to feel the support.   Oh, and there have been several challenges in the last several months (as I’ve mentioned), and I have really needed to feel the support. And also, I am about to take off on a long family trip. I’m not usually gone for a whole month — missing meetings, not being with Mike, lots of prep, packing — I gotta remember to feel the support.  

Get the idea? 🙂  Rick Hanson has an essay that I really like in his series, JOT (Just One Thing) on Feel the Support.  Key point is that this is not about denying that there are real challenges, we most certainly acknowledge all the people and occasions that are tough, where we don’t feel supported.  Rather, it is about recognizing and choosing to focus on the ways and times where we are supported…remembering the people, the inner and outer resources we have, that help us carry our load, let us actually, significantly, subtly but authentically, feel buoyed by the support we do have.  

Re Board of Directors:  I served before, some years ago and it was a huge growth experience for me.  I learned that when I speak my truth, stand up for what seems right to me, I will not always be liked.  This is scary, but I learned that I can handle it. I remember sitting on my couch at home after a rough meeting, where I was alone in my perspective, feeling into my aloneness, and then having the sense of OKness rise, fill me, letting me relax, and know that I am OK even when people don’t agree with or like me.  It was powerful.  I have already need that support this term!

Challenging situations/crises:  Deep breathing, deep listening, drawing on friends, crying, holding the events in a larger awareness, calming my midnight-monkey mind…

I have, we all have, access to so many resources to draw on.  We need to (remember to) feel ‘em, let them sink in and nourish us.  

Long family trip:  I really like to make packing lists!  Without ‘em I feel really overwhelmed. And another factor that has shifted for me as the years have gone by.  I used to be full of preferences, needing to have things a certain way, have strong opinions on what to do, where to go… it was exhausting for me, and a burden on others.  As I have aged, I’m finding that I am moving more and more toward what the venerable sage Krishnamurti responded when asked about his secret was, what was the essence of his understanding.  He said, “I don’t mind what happens.”  It’s a biggie!!  This basically says that we are in alignment, not resisting what is.  Oh my!  When I first heard it, it went in one ear and out the other, but now it’s lodged right in there, and is deep support on a trip with lots of action, and other people.  

In conclusion, I was surprised to find this gentle, apt quote about support and help, “We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone,” to have been said by Ronald Reagan!  And this, dear friends, is true for each and everyone one of us, including ourselves!   How do you give and receive support?  I’d like to hear your experience. We’re in the together! 🙂

Jill Schroder is the author of BECOMING: Journeying Toward Authenticity.  BECOMING is an invitation for self-reflection, and to mine our memorable moments for insights, meaning, and growth.  Check the website for a sample chapter, or see the reviews to get a flavor for the volume.  Follow me on Twitter, let’s be friends on Facebook 

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