imagesNot long ago I did an inquiry about the differences and comparisons, not to say conflict, between my brain and my heart.  It moved me to tears, and I want to share some of the insights, in hopes they might speak to you as well.

I started by noticing, and accepting that for me, my head/brain is the safe place to hang out.  I kinda knew this, but it has became clearer and more poignant as I have continued to explore the territory.  (One useful session was with Kiran {aka Mystic Girl in the City}, whom I highly recommend.  She’s insightful and her sessions are reasonable and accessible.)

I have come to see (with a certain amount of resistance and sadness), that my brain (I could also call it the head center), has habitually been my safe haven.   It’s been my default resource and go-to location, my solace in times of trouble, the place from which I typically make decisions, figure things out, make meaning….

As I write this, I take a deep breath, and thank (from the bottom of my heart!), this center — the head, this amazing organ — my brain, for all its hard work, for its good intentions, for all the service it has given, and will give me and the world…

What happened next?I felt into the head center, and invited it to speak to me.  I noticed that it felt clear, crisp, and also a bit hard, and as I stayed with the experience, I felt a kind of guardedness, a deeply grooved pattern of wanting to get it right, to understand…   It’s tiring, not to say stressful, this vigilance, this hyper-attention.  I noticed both excitement and curiosity, as well as agitation and impatience… quite a mix.  I then noticed that there is an enormous amount of efforting, trying, not to say struggling, when the brain thinks it’s in charge.  Better, make that is convinced it’s in charge!  It really is convinced.images-1

So now I drop down into my heart.  I get chills as I write this, recalling, reliving the shift I noticed, am noticing.  My face gets more relaxed, my heart area expanded and both have a quality of luminosity.  My body relaxes.  I soften, experience a knowingness, an OKness, acceptance.  I pay attention, surrender to what’s arising… Big shifts.  Make that huge shifts.  Momentous.

At the same time, (even if it is not always my experience), neither my head (nor my heart, for that matter!) is ultimately in charge… no matter how strongly it thinks so.  As I become more awake, more conscious, I also become more aware of this, attuned.

It’s becoming more transparent that what I think is me, my mind, or thoughts, or even heart or body, at a deeper, truer level, is the Mystery, the Absolute, God/god, Being… (choose your term), arising and manifesting at this location…(and your location :-))

This all doesn’t “make sense” in the normal way. My mind continues to rebel, and periodically tries to assert itself.  But once this dropping is experienced, there is no turning back.  This is true becoming:  journeying more and more deeply toward not only authenticity, but toward my true home.Unknown

Jill Schroder is the author of BECOMING: Journeying Toward Authenticity.  BECOMING is an invitation for self-reflection, and to mine our memorable moments for insights, meaning, and growth.  Check the website for a sample chapter, or see the reviews to get a flavor for the volume.  Follow me on Twitter, let’s be friends on Facebook :-)


Share this: